And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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