Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize