are you so shy because you have an std?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
