I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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