youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia