I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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