my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
