Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
