Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
