weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
