Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
