you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat