idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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