I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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