So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How does it feel to date your dad?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize