Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
