Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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