Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
