i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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