Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hippo gnu deer
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
