I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
