You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
