i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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