Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
