the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
