I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
