i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
