I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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