thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
