this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
