I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
