She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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