I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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