I think I am morally bankrupt
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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