I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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