The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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