no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
