I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
