Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
