thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
