Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
