He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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