actually, I'm a sock model
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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