But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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