sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
