I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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