I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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