Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
