Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
