I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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