I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
