Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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