The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
