Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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