I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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