Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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