This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
