So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
