let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
