You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
